I’m so excited right now to leave in three weeks! I’m also nervous about leaving everything and everyone behind. This isn’t an entirely new experience; when I transferred schools, I went through a little of this same emotional experience. I will be leaving a lot of people behind, and sometimes—more often than I’d like to admit—I have a hard time accepting the fact that everyone’s lives will keep going. No one, nothing needs me for survival.
This is an incredibly selfish point of view, I realize, but it’s a very real struggle for me. I like to be needed, and now more than ever, circumstances are tempting me to think, “How will [insert person or situation] go without me?”
Today, my dear friend and horseback riding teacher had an accident at her barn. She’s going to be okay, but there’s a long road to recovery ahead of her. And it’s difficult to admit that I’m not going to be here for most of it. My grandma is hopefully moving to Lincoln in the near future, and I won’t be here. There’s a lot my brain is trying to understand right now. How is it that in three weeks I’ll be almost five thousand miles away? And how is it that everything will keep going? Yet I am very excited! I can’t wait to meet Yaciana. I know I’m going to make so many amazing friends and go so many places. I’m looking forward to seeing my friends who live in Europe again.
In church this morning, we sang a beautiful song whose lyrics were an important reminder for me: “Heighth nor depth nor anything else could pull us apart, we are joined as one by Your blood. Hope will rise as we become more than conquerors through the One who loved the world. Oh God, You never leave my side. Your love will stand firm through all my life.” Wherever I go, God will be with me. Wherever I am—a place of darkness, a place of rejoicing—He will be by my side. Amen!